summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
