fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
