I seem to have left my pride at pride
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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