the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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