He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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