So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
