A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
