weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
