Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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