just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
