I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
