I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
