Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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