Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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