all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
