My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My feet surprised me
Randomize
