and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize