In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The cops high fived after they tackled you
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
