So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
