I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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