I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
