thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
