it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
