Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
