my mouth tastes like poor choices
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just want to make out with him forever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
