All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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