Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
