i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
