Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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