My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
"it" just moved
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
