i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize