I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
