Your face is a jimmy john
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
