I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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