hotel room ftw
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
