We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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