So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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