i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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