It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
