Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
