careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
