Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
