Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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