And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
