I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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