I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
