My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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