What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
