yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
