sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize