im six kinds of drunk right now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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