There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
