What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
