matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
