I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
