I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
