and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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