that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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