well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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