if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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