i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
