yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
